Shorty and His Cattle Dog

I guess there's been a lot written 'bout stock dogs,
Their worth and how they work so well
But I'm gonna relate a little story that beats 'em all
That took place in Arizona at the Cactus Hotel.

Seems that all the boys were sittin' round in the Cantina
Drinkin' beer, swappin' tales and a boastin'
'bout who had the best dog to work sheep and cattle,
To each braggart's lie they were a toastin'.  

Now braggin' in that part of the Desert
Has been refined to a gentleman's game of art
But no one could ever top ol' Shorty McGee
Once he got his chance to start.

Now Shorty had mastered one-upmanship,
He'd just wait 'til everyone was through
then he'd let loose a real zinger
That would top anything you could ever do.

Anyway, ol' Jim's a braggin' on his Collie
And how he could work a section with 500 head,
Said him and that dog would have 'em penned
Long before lunch had been fed.

J.P. says that weren't nothin' to brag on,
Him and his ol' Kelpie could match that feat
Plus, his dog could cull out all the first year heifers
And tag the ears before it was time to eat.

Well it was gettin' purty thick and deep
When the phone rang off the wall
and the barkeep yelled over all the braggin',
"Hey Shorty, you got a phone call!"

Well the boys just kept a stackin' it higher,
It had gone as far as it could go
When Shorty hung up the phone and calmly returned
To deliver the final blow.

We all turned to him and inquired,
"Who was that on the line?"
Shorty just kinda quietly replied
"Oh, it was just that Cattle Dog of mine."

"He said he hated to call me here
And you fellas know he seldom does,
But he's just penned some sickly yearlin's
And needed to know where the Terramycin was."

Well, we all figgered Shorty won that round,
I mean, what else could a dog be expected to do?
So, we all conceded he had the best dog
but we didn't know how much he was sayin' was true.

So it goes with braggarts and canines,
But Shorty's final words were shocking indeed.
He said, "That Terramycin is next to the bag balm,
So I guess I'll have to teach that mutt how to read!"